Circus vs. Julie Who's the bigger freak?

This last week the circus was in town. No not this kind of circus:

More like this kind of circus:

minus the happy clowns, plus a few safety violations.

For the first half of the show Kelson was like this:

slightly terrified, slightly intrigued

I may or may not have some extreme anxiety issues. Extreme might be too light a word. Basically I'm a freak and require medication periodically because I worry about EVERYTHING. So this circus was nothing short of a small heart attack for me. There was fire, people too high in the air, balancing, no safety nets, questionable food...

Again...not this:

more like this:

As soon as I entered I started making my escape plan for what I would do (besides hyperventilate) when the animals got loose and storm the audience.

Alright ladies and gentlemen... I think we should play a riveting round of 

"SPOT THE LIFE THREATENING CIRCUS HAZARD"

  

First up...

Do you see it??

Here's an idea. Lets take an 800 lb bear, put him on a thin nylon leash and then....are you ready for this?? ....lets tell all of the sugar filled children to rush down from the audience and crowd the stadium as fast as they can so they can sit next to this enormous wild animal we call a circus bear. But don't worry, cause he's on a leash so all is well. And if anything does go wrong, they can just walk him out of the mosh pit of children and put him in time out.

I would like to believe if these 4 and 5 year old children can climb that fence, then a bear with the same size and strength of my car can do it as well. Does anyone else understand my logic here??

Alright...on to #2. Can you spot one of the many life threatening hazards?

Wait for it....

Here 3 year old child, climb up on the back of this wild 15,453 lb elephant. (for reals, that's how much they weigh. It's googleable)  I'll strap you up there with 24 other kids and take your picture...(and Julie will sit in the stands and record the stampede for youtube.)

Ok last one I can take...my heart is pounding just writing this. Me? A stressed out mess? Check.

So here is an obviously insane man in a cage with 6 wild tigers. What's that little white box strapped to his back you ask? Why, that's a box full of raw meat that the (hopefully well paid) trainer throws at the tigers when they obey.

See any danger here?? Do I really have to point this one out?

That is all I can say. Call me overprotective...call me crazy...but circus's are not good for a person with anxiety disorders. Plus, I had just read The Hunger Games, so that wasn't helpful to the situation either. I was waiting for a cannon to go off the whole time. 

But that's all from my point of view. Ask the kids and it was all cotton candy and rainbows the whole night.

They thought it was pretty cool...even if I didn't strap them to a wild carnivore.  

nom nom nom